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April 10, 2015 / ljbradburn-Smith

Unconventional Love Letter

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Don’t get me wrong Ben can do a lot of things, sport, carpentery, win awards for kindness, but I’m not interested in that right now because the things he can’t do are much funnier. So just for the sake of amusement here’s what Ben can’t do…

Ben can’t lick envelopes – he said that he either doesn’t lick them enough and they don’t stick or his mouth suddenly produces so much saliva it drowns the envelope.

Ben can’t fan cards out in his hand – when we play cards I usually fan them out and hand them back to him, which as you can imagine usually happens several times a game. Good job I’m not a cheat.

Ben can’t open shopping bags – You know sometimes I suspect that he only bought the ‘bags for life’ to avoid that awkward tussle with the plastic kind, and not because he cares about the environment. Mean of me to doubt him like that I know.

Ben can’t watch an entire film without falling asleep and making some kind of strange sleep sound – My favourite was the gurgle/snort that happened during a particularly poignant bit in Tangled.

Ben can’t try on suit trousers, in a shop, without squatting to find out if they have enough room in them – The day I go to a formal event where squatting is mandatory/done at all is the day I will be sorry that I laughed at him in Debenhams.

Ben can’t see how funny and wonderful he is – which are just two of the many things that I love about him.

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2 Comments

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  1. J.R.Barker / Apr 13 2015 8:19 am

    That’s adorable!

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