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May 17, 2013 / ljbradburn-Smith

This is asking for it…

me

I’m not sure why but I have a habit of telling people embarrassing things about me, with little or no prompting! I think it might be because I figure if I just get it out there and tell everyone then they can laugh and it’s over and done with and I don’t have to live with the fear of them being revealed to the world by anyone other than me (kinda a laugh with me not at me thing). I know I could just keep them to myself and hope that my brother/friends don’t tell everyone, in revenge, when I piss them off but that’s just not in my nature. Having a lot of embarrassing moments + talking too much is a dangerous combination and apparently just having the embarrassing moment isn’t quite embarrassing enough!

So here are the Top 10 embarrassing moments of my life so far (I am sure there are many more to come)…

1. When I was in year 7, in secondary school, I was walking past the place where all the cool Year 11s hung out and I choose that exact moment to fall flat on my face in to the mud, right in front of them. To make it worse my friend was laughing so much that she couldn’t even help me up. I spent the next few weeks trying to find alternative routes past that building.

2. After my knee operation, when I was 18, I had my cast taken off and was sent straight to physiotherapy. I did pretty well until the end when I had to hobble out on my crutches. I started feeling really sick, called my dad and he turned around just in time to catch me with one arm. He said that my pupils filled the whole of my iris and that I was starting up at him, like something out of a horror film. That’s more disturbing than embarrassing I hear you cry, well I haven’t told you about the fact that I wet myself, in front of my dad and a corridor of people, and I didn’t know about it until a kind nurse came in and offered me some nurse’s scrubs. There was also another incident, of a similar nature, involving camping, a slightly longer walk to the toilets than was needed and a can of cider but that’s for another time!

3. I once attempted to jump over the river on a rope swing. No-one else was brave enough to do it (or stupid enough now that I think about it in retrospect). So I geared myself up and imagined how cool I would be if I made it to the other side when no-one else had. I took the jump, sailed through the air, thought i’d made it but instead I caught my leg on a branch on the opposite side and hung upside down from it, before I fell in a river. In front of everyone in the world. Poor little embarrassing me 😦

4. At times my inside voice, instead of staying safely inside, falls out of my mouth without warning. This happened when, approaching an escalator, I suddenly transported back in time to before they had been invented and in shock said “oh my god, the stairs are moving”. Luckily my friend Lou was there to witness it and can always remind me if I ever forget.

5. Another inside voice moment, also witnessed by Lou (she brings it out of me), happened in a pub when I ordered an alcoholic chocolate milkshake that comes in a glass bottle (I should have known something would go wrong from that moment). When the guy behind the bar asked me if I would like ice I thought he was going crazy – I mean how was he going to fit the ice cubes in the bottle! (Yes, I did say that bit out loud.)

6. When I asked Ben if he had anything to contribute to the list it went like this:
Me: Can you think of any embarrassing things that I have done?
Ben: Only when you’re drunk.
Me: Okay, what have I done that’s embarrassing when I’ve been drunk?
Ben: Well it’s just embarrassing isn’t it, all of it.
Me: Thanks

7. I once trod on the end of a broom and the handle hit me in the forehead. I like to think I was subconsciously acting out a cartoon – method acting I think they call it.

8. I woke up one morning after a few too many drinks and when, after half an hour or so, I still couldn’t see properly I thought I was having the hangover from hell and may have permanently damaged my eyesight I remembered that I wear glasses, every day, and that I can never see past my own hand without them and that I had forgotten to put them on that morning.

9. There was that classic skirt tucked in to tights moment.

10. Writing this post – see I told you I always do this!

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6 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Mary / May 18 2013 6:10 am

    Aww this made me chuckle. You wouldnt be u if you didnt have ur quirks 🙂 *loves* xxx

    • ljbradburn / May 20 2013 10:18 am

      hehe thanks my love 🙂 I like at way of looking at it, makes me feel much better 🙂 More loves xxx

  2. Grainne O'Riordan / May 18 2013 7:38 am

    So proud…. Mum 🙂

  3. Jill London / May 19 2013 10:48 am

    Aww, poor you! That is some list, lady! It’s good you’ve learned to see the funny side, you have to laugh, don’t you?
    Wishing you a really happy, and accident-free day, Lydia 😉 xxx

    • ljbradburn / May 20 2013 10:15 am

      Yep, it’s definately better to laugh than cry I think 🙂 Thanks very much, i’m sure there will be many more embarrassing stories to come that I will share with you 😉 hehe! xxx

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